I'm out..

I'm pretty much done with this blogging thing. I am not a writer, I am just a mom. My life is not interesting enough to even act like I have anything to put on here. I find myself just getting on here to check the blogs I like to keep up with. It makes me feel bad to have a blog that some mom might find and come to wanting some encouraging words about having PPD/PPA, and there are none here to be found. If you come here and are looking for that (which is how I was in those early horrible dark days), go over to my blogroll and check some of those lovely ladies out who do have something to say.

All Work and No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something is Kim's blog. She super duper awesome and is a strong warrior mommy who is really good at this blogging thing.

Ivy's PPD Blog is the first one I came across when I was searching for some answers and support. Ivy is so sweet and has a ton of good information on her blog about all things PPD.

A few other's that I love to check on are Not Super..Just Mom, Farewell Stranger and Musings, Musings, Musings. So there you go. I wish I could have kept on doing this and been halfway interesting. Thanks to those of you who have commented here, that was my favorite part, reading those comments. Good luck to all of you out there still struggling. Don't feel bad for taking medication. Don't isolate yourself and not let anyone know you're hurting. Call your Dr. Tell your family. Get help. You are a good mom even if you don't bond with your baby right away. That comes with time. No, your husband and baby would not be better off with out you. They need you. Don't feel like you have to do it all, accept help from others. It does get better...I promise.

I'll be back..

Okay, I know I need to post something about what's going on in my life, but I'm in a bit of a slump. I will try come up with something to post about, even if it's just the adorable things my son is doing lately. It's hard for me to put thoughts into words, and not have it sound stupid. Or I think of a really funny line to type, then I type it, and it doesn't seem funny written out. That's one of the few reasons I've thought a lot about not even doing this blog anymore. I really would like to keep it up, so we will see. Maybe I'll have some big epiphany and become an awesome mommy blogger that makes you sooo jealous of my awesome/crafty/happy life! (haha..see, that's funny to me 'cause I get jealous of some all too perfect mommy bloggers, which is ridiculous) Anyhoo..I hope to be able to fill up this space soon!

My big boy..

So my baby is turning one on Thursday. I am kinda sad about it so I will just post these adorable 12 month pictures of him to make you all smile. :-)

Easton's first Christmas

The past two posts were so depressing, I would've posted something jolly before now, but we've been busy. I just had a really bad few weeks there before Christmas. Of course I started feeling better once I was surrounded by my family..I knew I would. I'm not sure if it was the cold, dreary weather that had me down, but I'm glad I'm out of that little "slump". Whew. It's like I know it isn't going to last, due to my past experience's, but I can never convince myself of it during said "slump. Easton and I are staying in Indiana with my parents, sister and my niece's for a few days, so this should be fun! Jason had to go back to work tomorrow, so he left this afternoon.
Easton's first Christmas has been so fun! It snowed here in Indiana, so it was also white! He opened some really cool presents, then crawled over and started playing with the old toys mom had out. I got some cute pics though...Hope everyone had a holly jolly Christmas!

Just go away

What is with this sadness that is filling me up like a cup about to overflow? I was feeling so good for awhile. }sigh{ I just can't seem to shake it. It's also crazy that I've done two blog posts in less than 24 hours. I've already cried today, and that hasn't happened in awhile either. I laid Easton down for his nap and just lost it. I should be looking forward to Christmas, but I'm not. This post is going to be a silly rambling piece of work, but I just need to get some stuff off my chest. There's no one really to call right now and cry too..so I decided to write. I wish I could say it's PMS, but I don't think it is. My days seem so long and endless with nothing really to do. It's horrible to feel this way right now because Easton is so cute and funny and I need to be enjoying the last of his baby-ness, but I'm struggling to find that joy. (run on sentence, I know) I just want it to go away.

Blessings

Why is putting into words what I am feeling sometimes so stinkin' hard??? I've had a post in mind and haven't for the life of me, been able to type it out. I will start, then I read it back and it sounds like a 2nd grader wrote it (no offense to 2nd graders) or it just doesn't express what's going on in my head. Maybe that's a hint as to what's going on in my head is WAAAY to scary to be on a blog. (haha?) Anyway..I've had some really blue days in the past couple weeks. I know I posted about being boring and feeling better and yada yada yada..but there's been something lurking that is driving me batty. I feel okay some days, then the rest of the week I'm just..well...off. It's not helping to tell myself that I have no reason to be sad. I try that, often. It's kinda scary because of my dealing with PPD/PPA in the not so distant past. The feelings are very familiar to me, and they bring a lot of extra weight with them. I tend to get on here and go to my faithful blogs that I read, and see that everyone has bad days. It's OK. Today I went to one blog that I check often, but it's not on my blog list. I don't even really know how I found it. But this blog has moved me. I've been reading it for a couple months now and I feel like I NEED to know what's going on with this lovely family. Just google
"eb ing mommy" The actual address is www.randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com Courtney has a sweet little toddler named Tripp, who has a disease called Junctional Epidermolysis Bullosa. Her blog is heartbreaking and inspiring all at the same time. I don't have the knowledge to explain this disease to you, just go visit her site. She never fails to post about not only the sadness and stress of her son's horrible disease, but she always makes sure to let you know that he is a blessing to her and her family. That her life wouldn't be the same with out him, and that she trusts that God knows what he's doing by giving her this beautiful baby who suffers from EB. All I know is that her blog makes me count my blessings. I am in no way saying that all I need to do is count my blessings and my depression will go away. But I am in a different place now. When I read Courtney's posts now, they do make me feel better. Five months ago..they would've done no good. Whatever..I'm no good at explaining myself in typed words. Just go visit Courtney's blog, then count your blessings. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas, eats a whole lotta crap and falls off the diet wagon with me.

I am so boring.

I have been at a loss for what to blog about lately, and have considered just not blogging anymore, because, to tell you the truth, we are just not that interesting. I started blogging when I was pregnant, then it kinda turned into a blog about me and my PPD/PPA struggles/Easton's feeding and sleeping issues. Well, I feel lots better, and my son is a champion sleeper now. (Did I just jinx myself? Probably.) Soooooo...that's why I don't really know what to blog about. I admire the women who's blogs I read religiously, for being able to come up with stuff to write about almost daily. Again, I am just not that interesting. Being a sahm can get quite boring. I know no one wants to hear about how many times my son poops a day, or the fact that he refuses to feed himself and that his favorite thing to do is sit on the dryer while I get laundry out. Hold on to your seat folks! This is exciting stuff! Well, there is one thing I have accomplished that I haven't blogged about and that is my weight loss. I gained an enormous amount of weight when I was pregnant and have so far lost 17 pounds! Yay for me! It's taken me awhile, but I told myself I wanted to be back in my old clothes by his first birthday. I just might be there too...maybe. I have also thought about doing some blogs about recipes I try. I am now addicted to food blogs..and I love to try all the recipes from them. I have made some pretty good one, and a few that went straight to the dog. I thought that might be interesting, plus I love to cook! I also have seen mom's do product reviews of stuff they use, I could do that too. I have spent money on some baby stuff that I would love to tell other mom's that it wasn't quite worth it, or it was wonderful. Well, that's it. I guess if something groundbreaking happens to me, you (?) will be the first to know!