I would post a picture of Easton at six weeks..but I don't have one. I know that sounds horrible. But taking pictures of him has been the last thing on my mind lately. He's hit a pretty rough stage. We are having some issues with feeding, mainly him not wanting to. He cries and fights his bottle which is SO frustrating. Our pediatrician has diagnosed him as "colicky" and given him Zantac. We have switched his formula to Alimentum which costs about a $100 a can..well..not really..but it seems like it. It will be a week tomorrow that we switched the formula, and he's been on Zantac since the 5th. So we are hoping for a magical response to both the medicine and the formula switch. He still wants to eat every 2 hours and will only eat 2 ounces. Needless to say, I am exhausted from doing that at night. Oh, and he seems to think the day starts at 4:30-5:00 am. Ugh. Oh, and he's started crying a lot at night. He loves to fight his sleep too...it's got to get better. I know it does..tons of mom's have told me it does. I just keep trusting that and try to stay as patient as possible.
I have improved a little with the postpartum depression. It is a scary and stressful thing. I have never felt so miserable in my life. Seriously. It is hard to describe the feelings that I have been feeling. They are feelings that a mother should never have to feel. Try to imagine not wanting to take care of your own baby every day. Try to imagine feeling so scared of taking care of your baby that you have actual panic attacks. I fight feelings of hopelessness..extreme sadness. Insomnia is another symptom that has hit me also. So even when he is sleeping, I can't. I have seen a psychologist and am starting a new medication. I have hope that this will be the help I need to turn me back into Julie. Because for my son, husband, family..and me..I need to be Julie again.
Black Bean Savory Oatmeal
45 minutes ago