Sunday, December 26, 2010

Easton's first Christmas

The past two posts were so depressing, I would've posted something jolly before now, but we've been busy. I just had a really bad few weeks there before Christmas. Of course I started feeling better once I was surrounded by my family..I knew I would. I'm not sure if it was the cold, dreary weather that had me down, but I'm glad I'm out of that little "slump". Whew. It's like I know it isn't going to last, due to my past experience's, but I can never convince myself of it during said "slump. Easton and I are staying in Indiana with my parents, sister and my niece's for a few days, so this should be fun! Jason had to go back to work tomorrow, so he left this afternoon.
Easton's first Christmas has been so fun! It snowed here in Indiana, so it was also white! He opened some really cool presents, then crawled over and started playing with the old toys mom had out. I got some cute pics though...Hope everyone had a holly jolly Christmas!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Just go away

What is with this sadness that is filling me up like a cup about to overflow? I was feeling so good for awhile. }sigh{ I just can't seem to shake it. It's also crazy that I've done two blog posts in less than 24 hours. I've already cried today, and that hasn't happened in awhile either. I laid Easton down for his nap and just lost it. I should be looking forward to Christmas, but I'm not. This post is going to be a silly rambling piece of work, but I just need to get some stuff off my chest. There's no one really to call right now and cry I decided to write. I wish I could say it's PMS, but I don't think it is. My days seem so long and endless with nothing really to do. It's horrible to feel this way right now because Easton is so cute and funny and I need to be enjoying the last of his baby-ness, but I'm struggling to find that joy. (run on sentence, I know) I just want it to go away.

Monday, December 20, 2010


Why is putting into words what I am feeling sometimes so stinkin' hard??? I've had a post in mind and haven't for the life of me, been able to type it out. I will start, then I read it back and it sounds like a 2nd grader wrote it (no offense to 2nd graders) or it just doesn't express what's going on in my head. Maybe that's a hint as to what's going on in my head is WAAAY to scary to be on a blog. (haha?) Anyway..I've had some really blue days in the past couple weeks. I know I posted about being boring and feeling better and yada yada yada..but there's been something lurking that is driving me batty. I feel okay some days, then the rest of the week I'm It's not helping to tell myself that I have no reason to be sad. I try that, often. It's kinda scary because of my dealing with PPD/PPA in the not so distant past. The feelings are very familiar to me, and they bring a lot of extra weight with them. I tend to get on here and go to my faithful blogs that I read, and see that everyone has bad days. It's OK. Today I went to one blog that I check often, but it's not on my blog list. I don't even really know how I found it. But this blog has moved me. I've been reading it for a couple months now and I feel like I NEED to know what's going on with this lovely family. Just google
"eb ing mommy" The actual address is Courtney has a sweet little toddler named Tripp, who has a disease called Junctional Epidermolysis Bullosa. Her blog is heartbreaking and inspiring all at the same time. I don't have the knowledge to explain this disease to you, just go visit her site. She never fails to post about not only the sadness and stress of her son's horrible disease, but she always makes sure to let you know that he is a blessing to her and her family. That her life wouldn't be the same with out him, and that she trusts that God knows what he's doing by giving her this beautiful baby who suffers from EB. All I know is that her blog makes me count my blessings. I am in no way saying that all I need to do is count my blessings and my depression will go away. But I am in a different place now. When I read Courtney's posts now, they do make me feel better. Five months ago..they would've done no good. Whatever..I'm no good at explaining myself in typed words. Just go visit Courtney's blog, then count your blessings. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas, eats a whole lotta crap and falls off the diet wagon with me.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I am so boring.

I have been at a loss for what to blog about lately, and have considered just not blogging anymore, because, to tell you the truth, we are just not that interesting. I started blogging when I was pregnant, then it kinda turned into a blog about me and my PPD/PPA struggles/Easton's feeding and sleeping issues. Well, I feel lots better, and my son is a champion sleeper now. (Did I just jinx myself? Probably.) Soooooo...that's why I don't really know what to blog about. I admire the women who's blogs I read religiously, for being able to come up with stuff to write about almost daily. Again, I am just not that interesting. Being a sahm can get quite boring. I know no one wants to hear about how many times my son poops a day, or the fact that he refuses to feed himself and that his favorite thing to do is sit on the dryer while I get laundry out. Hold on to your seat folks! This is exciting stuff! Well, there is one thing I have accomplished that I haven't blogged about and that is my weight loss. I gained an enormous amount of weight when I was pregnant and have so far lost 17 pounds! Yay for me! It's taken me awhile, but I told myself I wanted to be back in my old clothes by his first birthday. I just might be there too...maybe. I have also thought about doing some blogs about recipes I try. I am now addicted to food blogs..and I love to try all the recipes from them. I have made some pretty good one, and a few that went straight to the dog. I thought that might be interesting, plus I love to cook! I also have seen mom's do product reviews of stuff they use, I could do that too. I have spent money on some baby stuff that I would love to tell other mom's that it wasn't quite worth it, or it was wonderful. Well, that's it. I guess if something groundbreaking happens to me, you (?) will be the first to know!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

9 months already!

It's hard for me to believe that he's 9 months old today. Everyone tells you that it goes fast, and they are right. I think back to his first 4-5 months, and if you would have asked me then if it's going fast, I would have told you no. Between his colic and feeding issues, and my struggle with postpartum depression/anxiety, time was creeping by. I sit here and think back to how I felt those first few months and what I can remember do I even put into words those feelings? I've tried in the past, using words like, dark, despair, extreme loneliness, horrible sadness...and yet, it seems as though those don't even touch what I was experiencing. People would tell me "it does get better", and I had a hard time believing them. I am still working getting rid of the guilt of not caring for Easton like a new mommy should care for her newborn baby. When I say "care" for's not that I didn't take care of know the basic stuff. I did all those things..but I did them on autopilot. I might as well have been holding someone elses baby, that's how disconnected I was. I don't have any memory of snuggling up with him when he was all swaddled and sleeping. What I do have memory of is him laying on the couch in his sleep positioner, for what seems like all day. Typing that today hurts my heart. I hurt for him. He deserved a better mommy, a sane mommy. Much like the mommy he has today. I can say I am through the worst of it. I still have my days, moments of sadness that I can't explain. Those days are nothing like the days those first few months. So today I celebrate Easton, and all he's accomplished his first 9 months.

*He weighs 17 lbs and is...umm..I don't know how long he is. We go to his 9 mo well baby nxt week. He's still pretty short I think.

*He finally slept through the night...for a week. Ahh...but what a glorious week it was. Then those silly central incisors on top started coming and ruined it all. :-(

*He loves to walk! Not on his own, but with me, holding my fingers and killing my back. All around the house, all day. He does make pit stops at each door stopper thing and bang it around for a minute or two. But he would hold your fingers and walk all day if my back could stand it.

*He also loves to look out windows. He will stop at each window in the house and bang on the glass till I open it. Even if it's cold, he will stand there with his nose pressed to the screen and just observe.

*The kitchen windows are his favorite, because there, he gets to watch his best buddy, Ozzie. Ozzie is our akita, who he adores! Ozzie adores Easton too, and shows it by giving him big nasty kisses if I'm not quick enough to shield Easton's face.

*I believe he is still a big ole momma's boy..hee hee!

*This kid will eat anything. Which is so crazy, because the first few months of his life, I couldn't get the child to eat! Now, you better be ready to share whatever your are eating, because he wants a bite. He ate half my dinner last night, and that's after he had already had his. He loves string cheese, baked cheetos, spinach!, noodles, and hummus. Kinda of a random list of fav's huh?

*Easton will only sleep in HIS bed. We visited my parents in Indiana a few weeks ago, and it was the worst few nights we've had in a long time! He did have a cold, which didn't help, but he knew he was not in his bed!

*Oh goodness, I really should have put this one first. Easton is a thumb sucker. Next to walking, sucking his thumb while holding his blanket, is his favorite thing! AGH! Let's hope this doesn't turn into a long term thing. But for now, it really helps him put himself to sleep, which is a good thing.

I could go on, but this already is going down in the record books of my longest post ever. To sum it up, I love my baby. I love him with a love so strong it takes my breath away. That too, is a good thing.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My how things change..

My husband and I haven't been on vacation since before Easton was born. Actually, the last vacation we took, he was conceived. TMI? Sorry. With me staying home with Easton, it just hasn't been in the budget. When we go on vacation, we go to Florida where his parents have a condo. We LOVE the beach. Love, love, love it. We hope to take Easton next summer when he's a bit older, and we hope he loves it too! So, instead of taking a full vacation, we decided to go on a mini weekend getaway. Jason's passion is rock crawling. If you don't know what that is, it's crazy men who take these jeep looking things and literally crawl up and down big rocks. It sounds weird, but it is so fun! We camp out and crawl around on rocks, and just relax. Of course we don't take Easton. So, I asked my parents to come stay with him for a couple of nights while we go. It was originally going to be two nights. Right after they agreed, I started feeling funny about it. Funny like, I don't want to leave Easton for two nights. I am now going up later, so I only have to leave him for one night. I feel a bit better about that. It got me to thinking about a time, not so long ago, but that feels like ages ago. After Easton was born, and I was going through the worst of my PPD/PPA, I would've cared less about leaving him overnight. I would gladly pack him up and send him to whoever wanted him. Sad huh? Jason's aunt even kept him one time for at least two days. I think I called to check on him once. Only because I felt like I had to. When in came time to go pick him up, the anxiety kicked in big time. I would literally have panic attacks in the car. I didn't want to get him. I didn't want to have him back and listen to him scream. I now know this wasn't me, this was the PPD. My how things have changed. Now I can barely stand the thought of leaving him for one night, and I love it. Thank you, Pristiq, for giving me my life back. Thank you for allowing me to come to fully bond and fall in love with this marvelous, beautiful baby. I don't know where I would be right now with out that anti-depressant. I will gladly take it as long as I have to. I will gladly be nauseous at the thought of leaving my baby with someone overnight. Sometimes, change is good.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Nothing much..

I haven't done a post in a few weeks..cause nothing much is going on. Just enjoying the bursts of not so hot weather, and being home with Easton. Who, by the way, is getting so big! He is sleeping better! Yay!! He only is eating one time at night, usually around 4, and I am finally getting a "full" nights sleep! Glorious sleep! I feel like a different person these days! I have realized that sleep deprivation is mean and horrible. I successfully cut out his 12-1 am feeding without much crying. Thank God. He's got his first tooth, which was a sucky thing to go through! It upset his sleep, mood, everything. Once it broke through the gums, he was back to his sweetie pea self. He has started to realize he can make himself cough. But before I realized he was making himself do it, I paid a 35 co-pay to his dr., because I was convinced he had freakin' whooping cough or something. Ha. The Dr. said "have you ever thought that maybe he's doing it on purpose, because he can?" Hee bad. It's cute now. He's not crawling yet, but very close. What he would rather do is hold your fingers and WALK around. Not at 7 1/2 months!! AGH!! Jason walked before he was 10 months old, so I think we are going to have an early walker on our hands. I also have a momma's boy developing! He is all about me these days..which secretly makes me smile. So that's what we've been up to..nothing much. Just playing and enjoying this funny, sweet, adorable baby boy!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Where's the doody?

Easton has this habit of starting to poop in the middle of his bottles. Being the kind of baby that can only do one thing at a time..he stops eating..and finishes pooping. Sometimes I can get him to finish the bottle, but most of the time not. So..we change the diaper. His other "bad" to act like he's done pooping, then he pulls a "sike! you thought I was done huh?" on me. He finishes while I'm changing him. TMI..I know, such is the glamorous life of a SAHM. Anyhoo, I change him, put him down for his nap and go wash my hands. I go about fixing my lunch and sit down in front of our laptop and tv to enjoy a little time to myself. But I keep smelling poop. I look on my shirt, look everywhere,,no poop. I finish my lunch and get a couple snackwell cookies and some milk. Dunking the cookie, I still smell poop. I finish the first cookie and FINALLY notice a dark smudge on the knuckle of my dunking hand. guessed it. I had poop on the cookie dunking knuckle. The remaining cookies don't look so good anymore. And if you knew would know I rarely leave a cookie behind. So it turns out that putting your kids poop on the back of the hand that you eat with, is a good appetite suppressant. There you go..Julie's diet tip of the day.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Peek a boo..

This is the most recent move he does when I lay him down for his nap. He peeks. I watch on the monitor, and he pulls down the bumper pad and peeks out, like, "is she really gone?? wow..look at all my toys down there on the floor, sure wish I was playin'". It is adorable. He started pulling the bumper pad completely off first..I have ordered one of those breathable bumpers, that won't come off. I just thought this was to cute not to take a picture!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Easton @ 6 months

Six months ago yesterday, Jason and I were blessed with a amazingly beautiful baby boy. It is hard to believe it's really been six months! Easton, you amaze us every day with your faces and sounds that you have perfected. Here are some things you spend your days doing..

* day. You literally will not bend your knees to sit down unless forced!

*you can sit up on your own though! You will topple over at some point, but you are basically doing it all by yourself

*you aren't quite crawling, but are soo close!

*you still don't sleep through the night..but feeding twice is better than every two hours!!

*you are loving the baby food! Anything mommy puts in your mouth, you eat!

*you are finally up to taking 4-6 oz of formula! Ya-hoo!

*you love to blow "bubbles", really it's just spitting all over the place, but it's so cute!

*you love to screech! That's how you communicate these days..hilarious!

*daddy says you're a momma's boy..:-)

Those are just some of the lovely and amazing things that you do now days. Mommy and Daddy love you SO much and can't imagine what we ever did with out you..umm..besides sleep..but other than are our missing link, baby boy!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Silly me

I've been curious lately as to how I would react off of antidepressants. I am on Pristiq, which is the fourth one I've tried. It seemed to be going good...but I was thinking that maybe it was me that was good. You know..that I was good..not just the Pristiq. There were a couple of reasons why I decided to try weaning off of Pristiq. I'm not going to list them because I don't want any one's opinion on why they aren't good enough reasons. The first week I was okay. Not much change. So I thought it was going to be easy! "see, you are better!", I was telling myself. Then this past weekend I started having some old familiar feelings that came sneaking up on me. When I was in the midst of PPD/PPA, I used to have a hard time dealing with being at home alone with Easton all day, everyday. It would physically make me sick. "what am I going to do all day with him??" "there are so many hours and not enough naps till Jason gets home" " I am so lonely.." Well, those thoughts were back in my head. All too familiar, and terrifying. Then the 'tears for no reason' started showing up. Like right I am typing this. Here they are. I keep looking at the time on the computer, counting the hours till Jason gets home. All I want Easton to do is nap. Poor baby. We were sitting on the floor this morning.. and I was crying. I had looked at the clock and it was only 9am. That was what triggered them. He laid there looking up at me like.."oh we go again." I called my mom and told her I don't think I can do this. I wanted so much to be okay. But it's obvious to me that this asshole PPD, is still hanging around my house. I filled my prescription this afternoon. I didn't even wait till I got home to take one. I was so afraid of having to feel the other awful things I felt awhile ago. I don't EVER want to feel that way again. So if taking this drug is going to keep me smiling at my baby day after sometimes boring day..then I'll take it. This dreadful thing may still have a claw or two in me, but that's all it's going to get. It can't have all of me back.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Nutrisystem journey: Day 2

I desperately need to lose this baby weight. It's almost embarrassing to say that I gained almost 60lbs when I was pregnant with Easton. Saying that I took being pregnant as an excuse to eat is an understatement. Sooo..I am trying Nutrisystem! I started yesterday. It was a hard day for me. You have your nutrisystem meals, plus you add in dairy, protein, fruit and LOTS of vegetables. The vegetables are the hard part for me. I'm not a big veggie eater. Unless it's corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, or a salad with cheese, ranch and croutons. I went to the store and bought a bunch of salad and fruit and stuff..and started my journey. The breakfast wasn't to bad. The lunch was gross. The nutrisystem website has a bunch of forums of members and how they "doctor up" the food to make it more palatable. It has a lot of good ideas on it. Why is dieting so freaking hard for me??? I LOVE food. I love making food. I love everything about food. Which is why I am in this situation in the first place. I also HATE exercise. It makes me nauseous to think about getting on that treadmill in the bonus room. (Plus the air conditioner in there is broken, and I'm still having hot flashes all the time..which makes it almost unbearable ) My younger sister Joni, has recently become a workout queen. She started doing these workout video's and looks amazing! She is always willing to flex her arms and show you her new muscle definition, if you want to see it. :-) She keeps telling me "muscle burns fat...lift weights!" Ugh. I don't even own any weights. I don't know why doing something just for 30 min a day sounds so impossible to me. You would think as much as I dislike my body right now, that I would be all over some exercise. It's just me. My husband gained some weight with me during the pregnancy. Of course he's already lost it. All he did was stop eating Taco Bell a couple times a week. ARGH!! Oh, and I don't even own a scale. I guess I need to buy one to be able to chronicle this exciting journey. I have 38 lbs to lose to get to where I was when I got pregnant. Here we go...

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Mommy's sorry..but this was funny.

Prime example of why you shouldn't jump-jump-jumparoo, right after bath and a bottle. Hee-hee....

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I hate baby colds

Easton has his first cold. It has turned our world upside down! I knew from other mom's that being sick throws everything off for your baby. Boy, are they right. I had just succeeded in getting Easton on a decent nap "schedule" and now that he's sick, it doesn't exist anymore. He just can't grasp that it's possible to sleep when you have a river of snot running out of your nose. Which I try to suction out with that bulb thing (along with using some saline drops) and he HATES it. I did it for the first time on Sunday and he screamed bloody murder after the second nostril. I just thought it freaked him out. So I went back to his room to give him his bottle and try and get him to sleep. It actually worked, he went to sleep. I was rocking him after he had finished and looked at his little nose. There was a ring of blood on the inside of one of the nostrils!! That's why he screamed! I had bloodied his nose! I felt horrible. That's when I went and got some saline drops to try and not do that again. But you know what he doesn't freak out about that I have done a million times the past few days? Stick a thermometer in his butt. Yup, my son would rather have a thermometer in his crack, than snot sucked out of his nose so he can breathe. He just lays there, chewing his toes, grinning at me. (which by the way, I have learned, makes him poop. Note to self..always have wipes handy when checking his temp) Weird...and a bit disturbing. He has also reverted back to being up ALL the time at night. The first night he was sick, I sat up in the rocking chair all night holding him. He just couldn't sleep laying flat. It was exhausting. I had made a resolution to get my chubby behind on the treadmill everyday, and now I am so tired I can't even walk to the bonus room and get on it. Actually, I'm more exhausted just sitting here writing about getting on the treadmill. My sister told me that you don't have to work out on "sick days". So after two days of my resolution, I am taking a break. Ha. When I can get him back to napping during the day, I will get back on the horse, er, treadmill. Okay, something amazing just happened. I had laid him down about 15 minutes ago to see if he would go to sleep..and he did. Flat on his back!!!! He has NEVER been able to sleep on his back! He must be extremely tired to have fallen asleep, on his own, on his back. Wow. Maybe this is a good sign. Well, I should take advantage of this nap, who knows how long it will last. I need a shower and a good tooth brushing. I don't think I even brushed my teeth yesterday..I am so gross.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Postpartum weight loss..,

I new when I got pregnant I would gain weight. I've struggled my whole life with my weight. I'm just having such a hard time losing it! I've had my thyroid checked, it's normal. I'm still having some hormone issues I think. Can that keep you from losing the extra weight? It's really got me down lately. I'm just wondering how long it took you mom's to lose the weight after having your babies. How do you keep from getting depressed about it?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Me and PPD these days

I have done a lot of thinking lately about how far I've come since 2 weeks after Easton was born. I have to do this often when I start feeling blue. It helps me to know the "blue" won't last. I still have this weird feeling that the antidepressant is a "band-aid", just covering up something dark that's lurking inside me. But I am nowhere near as paralyzed with fear, sadness, emptiness and loneliness everyday. I was giving Easton a bottle this morning before his nap and we went through the same routine we have since he was born. I put a cloth diaper against my chest, he lays his head on it and I drape the top part of it over his eyes, and he drinks. I sat, humming Jesus Loves Me and watching him. Then it hit me. I remembered why I started draping the diaper over his eyes when I fed him to sleep. So he couldn't watch me cry. In those early days if I wasn't crying because I was so destitute I could die sitting right there, I was crying because he wouldn't eat and I was so destitute I could sit there and die. He would watch me. He would watch me with those big blue eyes and it killed me. I just knew he could tell I didn't want to be there with him. I just knew he could see my tears and he knew they meant I was beyond miserable holding him. So I started covering his eyes. It actually helped him go to sleep. Now he does it out of pure comfort. The minute I drape that diaper over his eyes, they shut and he is at peace. Amazing how something that I did out of anquish for so long, has turned into something that makes him feel cozy and safe. That's how I know I've made progress. I don't do it to hide from him, I do it because he loves it. Am I completely out of the woods? No. I can't say that yet. But there is light around me now most of the time, where there only used to be darkness. I read the words of other mom's struggling with this disease and it is so familiar to me that it actually physically hurts. I hurt for these women. I want to be able to sit right in front of the ones that are in the midst of the worst and just hug them. If I can say that it will get better, then trust me, it will get better.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Happy Father's Day!

First I'll start by saying Happy Father's day to my husband and my dad. Both are very important men in my life and I love them both immensely. I forgot to send my dad a card, which I never forget to do. I feel really bad about that. I am going to blame it on Easton. (hee hee) Ever since I had brain has lost half it's capacity to hold information. I forget a lot of things nowadays. Anyhoo..I called my dad this morning to let him know how much I love him.
I haven't posted anything on how Easton is doing in a couple weeks, cause our Internet has been down. I was forced to use Jason's Blackberry for the Internet and I couldn't hardly stand it. The buttons are to freaking small for my chunky man fingers. Sooo.. I had to wait to get our new pc card or whatever this thing is that sticks out the side of our laptop. Easton is doing a lot better. I finally was able to get him on some sort of sleep schedule. I followed the Healthy Sleep Habits book and have him up at 7am, down for 1st nap between 8-9am, then down for second nap between 12-1pm, then a shorter nap in the later after noon. He's going to bed by 7pm, which is the hardest part for him. That's the one time he still fights it. I have him able to go to sleep on his own too..for the most part. That sucked. He did a lot of crying..but he eventually got it. I still have to go in there sometimes, but he's not being put to sleep for every nap and bedtime with a bottle in his mouth. He is eating SO much better also. I have realized that he was just holding out for some "real" food. He LOVES his baby food and cereal! The kid will put it away. Anything we put on a spoon, he will eat. He's also started taking his bottle better. No more fighting it. I guess he was just never really hungry because I was shoving one in his mouth anytime he had to sleep or cried. Not anymore! We haven't got him to skip a feeding at night yet though. He's not up every two hours, but he's still being fed twice. I am going to wait a few more weeks till his 5 months to really get serious about that. It so much harder at night. The crying, I mean. I've done it a couple times and it breaks my heart. Plus, when I know he's in there crying, it's hard for me to sleep. I did fall asleep one time while he was crying. But, man, it's hard! So all in all, he's doing much better. Oh, and thank you so much if you left a sweet comment to my last post. It still amazes me, the love you can get from mommy's you don't even know personally! There are good people out mommy bloggers rock!!!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Lord, help me, help my baby sleep.

He's been crying for I don't know how long. He didn't take any good naps today and he's REFUSING to go to sleep for the night. I've read the books. All of them. I am still in the dark of what to do and when to start. I need a step by step..and I mean detailed..instruction sheet. I am not good at taking a book like, Healthy Sleep Habits, and putting it into effect in my sons life. Do I follow chapter "Months one thru four" or "Five thru twelve" He's four months old, but the chapter one thru four, doesn't help me in my situation, Dr. Weissbluth! I would hire a sleep consultant to come to my house in a heartbeat, if I could find one in Nashville. I can't find one. I need someone stronger than I am to help fix this. Easton is obviously a sleep deprived baby. I haven't taught him good sleep habits. Or I don't know if I could have, with all his feeding problems. At this point in my life, I don't look forward to anything. I admitted to my mom today, that if someone would've have told me what I would look like, feel like and be dealing with right now, I would've NEVER even had a baby. That is horrible. It's horrible and it's extremely sad. I have a beautiful baby boy, who didn't ask to be brought into this world, when some women try and try to have a baby and can't. I am painfully aware of keep those comments to yourself. I just want for one day to be enjoyable. I just want to not dread nighttime, or nap time, or feeding time. He's screaming...and screaming...and screaming..and screaming..and screaming..

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Vestibular what??

So I took Easton to see an OT yesterday. This appointment was following the one we had with a feeding therapist to try and figure out why he's not eating like a normal 4 month old. She observed some things, and I told her some of the weird stuff he was doing and she thought he could benefit from an evaluation with an OT. So this is what the OT told me. (It's hard to explain and difficult to understand!) Due to the fact that he was breech (at my c-section it was discovered that the reason he was breech was that the cord was wrapped around his neck twice) he shows "symptoms?" of having a slight vestibular disorder. Some of the traits or symptoms are that when having his bath, he throws his arms out to the side and holds his breath, like he thinks he is falling. He also does this when changing his diaper. He hates to ride in the car..the movement of the car is what he doesn't like. He doesn't like tummy time. He prefers to be all times! He doesn't like having his hands messed with. He doesn't like to be laid all the way back to eat. (Which I never did cause of reflux) The OT explained that when a baby is in the womb, they usually move all around before settling into the head down position. All that movement develops their vestibular system. The vestibular systems controls our sense of movement and balance. That's about the easiest explanation I can come up with. This is all very new to me and I'm still trying to process it. He has to go to see the OT a few more times and we are doing some things at home to help him. Evidently if not treated, this can cause delays in crawling and walking. I still don't fully understand how they think this has hindered his feeding, but lately, nothing surprises me. What could possibly be next for this poor baby? I have finally come to the conclusion that he will eat when he's ready. He's finishing more 4 oz bottles than before, not every bottle and not everyday, but a few more than before. So I'm guessing by the time he's going to be taken off the bottle, he will have worked up to 8 oz. Ha. He's finally hit 12 pounds! What a porker. :-) He's still not sleeping through the night, but he has started going 3 hours in between a lot more. Except for last night, he was fed at 1 am, then awake from 2:30 to 4am. Little turd. So, yeah, that's what's up with Easton these days. Who knew being breech could have possibly caused all the problems? Weird!!! Well..I need to be doing something constructive, like cleaning the kitchen floor, while he's napping. Off I go...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sleep deprivation+stubborn baby = Unhappy momma

There has been some new developments with Easton since I last posted, but they probably wouldn't make any sense if I typed them out. The reason being is that my brain is in a fog. Easton was up basically from 1-7am with a few sporadic moments of "naps" sprinkled in there. He FINALLY went to sleep around 7, only to wake up 30 minutes later. He has yet to go back to sleep. He has started fighting his sleep something terrible. Seriously, TERRIBLE. I can't even put into words how frustrated this makes me. The minute we lay him in his crib, he flips over on his back and throws a fit. We try leaving him in there. Nothing. I think he would lay in there all day. Trust me..I've been tempted to set a timer for an hour and just let him be. I don't really know what to do to help him sleep better. He didn't used to do that. He's never slept good at night, but he did used to take pretty decent naps. Not anymore. I just need some help. Or advice. Or a sleep specialist to come to my house and fix him. I would pay for that. I already offered my sister, Jenny, money to come fix him. She just laughed at me. Are there people that really do that??? I would love to find one. I am just wanting to be able to answer the question, "isn't being a mother the best?? Aren't babies wonderful?? It's SO much fun, isn't it?" , with yes, yes and yes. But right now I can't. And that makes me feel even worse.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Because you asked me to...

Up to the Mountain -Patty Griffin

I went up to the mountain
Because you asked me to
Up over the clouds
To where the sky was blue
I could see all around me

Sometimes I feel like
I've never been nothing but tired
I'll be walking
Till the day I expire
Sometimes I lay down
No more I can do
But then I go on again
Because you asked me to

Some days I look down
Afraid I will fall
And though the sun shines
I see nothing at all
And then I hear your sweet voice, oh
Oh, come and then go, come and then go
Telling me softly
You love me so

The peaceful valley
Just over the mountain
The peaceful valley
Few come to know
I may never get there
Ever in this lifetime
But sooner or later
It's there I will go
It's there I will go

I heard this song performed on American Idol tonight and it made me cry! It touched me. Just thought I would share.

Sunday, May 23, 2010


I have been frustrated lately. We have yet to find a reason why Easton won't eat more than 2-3 oz at a time. He's still wanting a bottle every two hours, night and day. I am exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I don't want to hear about another person's baby is sleeping through the night. I don't want to hear how your baby is taking 6 oz bottles at 4 months. I just want MINE to do it. When is this going to end?? Easton has also started to be a turd. By that I mean he's fighting his sleep. It can take up to an hour for him to lay down. Yesterday he only took one, one hour nap. On top of all of his issues, I'm dealing with HUGE self esteem issues. I have always disliked the way I look, which has led to about a million crash diets. Gaining 20, losing 20. The story of my chubby life. Well, when you gain almost 60 lbs while you're doesn't help anything. I know it was my fault. I ate a few to many dinners of mac and cheese. I wasn't thinking about still being in maternity pants 4 months postpartum. I feel hideous. My hormones still have to be out of whack. I have horrible hot flashes, mood swings, zits everywhere. (on my legs???? Who has that??) I can't stand to look in the mirror and I know it's not helping my depression. I went to the dr to have my hormone levels and thyroid checked. I will find out what's going on tomorrow. I am so paranoid that I will go into the office and the Dr. will sit down and say.."well, everything came back normal! Turns out you're just fat and crazy!" That would SO be my luck. He told me at my appointment when I had my blood drawn that according to the weight chart, that I am obese. Great. Faaan-tastic!! He really knows how to make a depressed girl's day! He also took me off Zoloft, which I think was really helping me, because he said I couldn't lose weight on that. He put me on Cymbalta, which I think is not helping me at all. So needless to say I am struggling. I want my baby to eat and sleep normally. I want to put on a pair of non-maternity pants and not want to cry. I want a full nights sleep. I want to sleep in a bed with my husband again. I want my life back.

Friday, May 14, 2010

I've got a plan..

So Easton did wonderful at his GI tests this week. He was a trooper. The Dr's saw only 2 small instances of reflux during the whole test. There is also nothing anatomcially wrong with his digestive system that would keep him from eating. His Dr seems to think he has a feeding aversion that some babies with reflux develop because they associate pain with feeding. He doesn't latch on correctly to the bottle and that also can happen to babies with reflux. What we are probably dealing with now is a habit of "snacking" every two hours and being put to sleep with a bottle in his mouth. I was always so afraid that there was something wrong with him that kept him from eating, that I was constantly giving in and feeding him whenever he fussed. I came to the conclusion @ 3:30 this morning as I was standing in front of the microwave, with my pajama pants on backwards, hair a mess, wearing my orthotic flip flops cause my feet have been hurting, heating up his bottle( don't worry you mom's who want to tell me your not supposed to use the microwave to heat up bottles..I pour the formula into a GLASS measuring cup and then test it with my impeccably clean finger before giving it to him) that I was NOT going to stick a bottle in this baby's mouth every 2 hours anymore. I am OVER it. Now that I know there is no reason why he can't eat, he is going to get on a schedule whether he likes it or not. He is also NOT going to be rocked to sleep with said bottle in his mouth. So it starts today. His morning nap was a battle that lasted an hour and a half. But I won. He ate almost 3.5 oz and got put in his crib drowsy. He immediately started whining. So I left him. I only went in to comfort and calm him down. He finally fell asleep. One bottle/nap down...many more to go. He finished his bottle @ 8:00am, so he is NOT being fed again till 11 am. I am done letting him run the show. It's my turn. I'm the one that's read all the books on how it should go..not him! SO wish me luck. I will succeed.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

GI tests and some pics...

My sister in law and I took Easton to have his 3 month pictures yesterday. He did SO good!! I was afraid he would be a turd since it was during one of his sporadic naps, but he surprised me and was a total angel. It was so hard to pick out which pictures I wanted, so I just got a TON. We are having to go to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital today to have some gastro test run on him. I am not looking forward to this!! His Dr. wants to rule out any anatomical reasons why he can't (or won't) eat more than 2-3 oz at a time. He's not gaining enough weight for his age..which concerns us. The good thing is he hasn't lost any weight either. He is having a barium swallow and something called a video fluoroscope?? ( i think that's what it's called) done this afternoon. I just hope and pray that they either find nothing, or they find something that can be easily fixed. I just want him to be able to eat like a normal 3 1/2 month old baby. So send some prayers our way today....we can sure use them.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Wondering when I can post this....

I have been wondering for awhile now when I can put this on my blog and be sure that it's true. I suppose I survived the worst of it, but I don't know if it's completely gone from my life. Or is it ever completely gone? I wonder if having a baby that has problems keeps it from going away. Easton is still having some significant feeding issues that we can't get under control. Just when I think he's going to have a good day...he refuses his bottle again. I hate feeding time. Whenever it is..which I don't really know throughout the day because this child can't be on any type of schedule. It makes me feel like I am stuck in this house. When is he going to eat next? When is he going to want to sleep? Is he going to wake up 30 minutes after I put him down and want to eat? And if he wants to eat, will he? These are the questions I deal with every day. I've tried every bottle out there, every nipple, and now every formula. He's been on two different medicines twice a day, since he was about 3 weeks old. No improvement. Is he just picky? Who knows. I finally found a pediatrician that I like who is just not telling me, "it's colic, he'll grow out of it." We switched him to soy with cereal on Friday after his appointment like the dr said, and nothing...still no improvement. The next step is to take him to a gastrointerologist?(spelling) to see if he has some more serious issue. Why can't the new formula just work??? I am up with him every hour and a half to two hours every night. Do you realize how exhausting that is? And depressing? Those are the longest most lonely nights ever. I pray for daylight.
So is this what's keeping me from feeling better? I have good days..don't get me wrong. But it seems when he is at his worst, so am I. I have been having some terrible guilt lately thinking that maybe if I would've breast fed he wouldn't be having these problems. He is 13 weeks old and I can count on two hands the number of 4 oz bottles he has taken. That's not normal!! I want normal..I need normal. I know that not all babies are perfect all the time, but I need mine to at least be some kind of normal. I have started telling people that he's doing good just because I am tired of telling them how bad he's doing. I'm tired of trying to explain what's wrong with him..cause I don't really know. This makes it so hard to look forward to each day. I still dread the nighttime like when he was younger and I was in the midst of the worst of my postpartum depression. I don't blame him. I know that even if he was a "perfect baby" I would've still got postpartum depression/anxiety. I just need a light at the end of the tunnel. I need to know that one of these days it will all be okay, and I'm having a hard time being optimistic right now. I just want him to be able to eat, ya know? I feel so bad for the little guy. I know it's just as hard on him as it is on us. I've started to be more weepy lately like before. I cried during almost all his bottles yesterday. When his tears start, so do mine. I just keep asking myself "why our baby?" I have friends that have had babies around the same time as I had Easton and I don't even want to talk to them about their babies. I haven't answered phone calls from the mommies just cause I don't want to hear how much theirs are sleeping, and how well they eat. Wow..this is a depressing post huh? Thanks to anyone that actually sat and read the whole thing. Even if nobody does read the whole thing, I needed to write it down. This to shall pass, right? I sure hope so. Sooner rather than later. So I am still waiting for the day when I can put that little label on my blog and mean it.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Easton at 3 months

My younger sister, Joni, blogs about my youngest niece, Elye, every month to keep track of milestones and cute stuff she does. It's a great idea and for some reason easier than getting out the baby book and writing it all down. Unfortunately, I haven't done either for Easton yet. These past three months have been the hardest three months of my life. I feel like a horrible momma for not writing this stuff down, but I've been lucky to get my shower clean let alone keep his baby book updated. I know that a lot of it is just being overwhelmed with all of the things being a new mom brings into your world. But the big majority of the reason is the postpartum depression/anxiety. I am just now starting to feel somewhat like myself. Not every day, but there are more good days than bad now. I am on my third different anti-depressant and have high hopes that it was be "the one". I feel so guilty to have not done all of these things to keep track of his first months of life and will regret it forever. Three months is as good a start as any right? At least I'm not having to title this post "Easton at 3 years old". I know this post is supposed to be about Easton and it will be, I just want to get a few things off my chest first. I get angry now days when I think of how postpartum robbed me of enjoying him in these first few months. The scary thing is, I don't even remember a lot of what happened the first weeks of his life. I was so lost in my own misery and uncomfortable in my own skin that I couldn't focus on him. I didn't want to focus on him. I wanted my old life back. I wanted my old body and mind back. I didn't want this new life. The one thing I am grateful for is that I recognized what was happening to me very early on. I made the call to my OB two weeks after he was born. I knew good and well that what I was experiencing wasn't just baby blues. So the fact that I am starting this now is a good acomplishment in my own book. Okay..enough about me.

Easton weighs in at 10lbs 12 oz finally! He is a bit on the small side due to his stomach/feeding issues. He is now starting to wear his 0-3 months cloths and looks adorable in them. He still eats every 2-3 hours...mostly 2. That can be anywhere from 2-4 oz. Mostly 2-3 oz. He is up every two hours at night most of the time too. He does a good 4-5 hour stretch at the beginning, then up and down the rest of the night. Not my favorite thing, but like my best friend said, "you know you won't be feeding him every two hours at night when he's 15, so there is an end in sight." Ha..thanks Erin. He smiles a lot now. It just so happens to be the cutest smile around. Sometimes it's only this little half, Elvis lip, smile. He loves to lay on his back and kick and flail his arms around as if he could take of in flight at any moment. One of our favorite things he does is what we call his "pitiful cry". It is totally a pure, "please feel sorry for me" cry. It's not even a's seriously a "wah..wah..wah..." I need to get it on video. It really is hard not to laugh at it, even though he is upset. One of the neatest things he does is when I'm changing his diaper, he will stare right at me the whole time. Like this morning, at 4:30 am, I was changing his, oh, 4th poopy diaper of the night( poor thing had his first enema yesterday..that's a whole other story) and I look down and he grinning at me. Who in their right mind grins at 4 in the morning? Easton does. He love to sleep in his bed and has finally got to where he will sleep in his carseat. Oh..he's awake. That's the majority of the milestones as of now. He is a precious baby and I love him so much my heart could burst. I have to go get my sweetie up...

Friday, April 23, 2010

There is such a thing as blog awards?

I am new to this whole blogging thing. My two sisters each have one and I got the idea from them. I first started it when I was pregnant to kinda "journal" my pregnancy. Then about two weeks after Easton was born I was diagnosed with postpartum deppression/anxiety. The blog then became a way for me to get the crazy things I was feeling out of my head. It's hard for me to type out the stuff and then go back and read it. It's scary. I became "addicted" to googling different blogs and articles about PPD/PPA and came across some wonderful, uplifting blogs. These blogs are written by strong mommies who are going through the same struggles as me. It was like a weight off my shoulders almost when I read their stories. I couldn't believe that there were women out there that had the exact same haunting feelings as me. I didn't feel so alone. That is a major symptom of my PPD. I feel sort of connected with these women who I don't even know. Some of them have commented on my posts and wrote the sweetest things. So today I was checking out two of the blogs that I follow and I saw that they had recieved what's called the Kreativ Blogger award. Then I scroll down and see that they have given it to me too! Once you recieve it you have to give it to seven blogs that you enjoy reading and find "Kreativ". I am so grateful for this award! I had no idea that I even had got it! The rules of the award are to

1. Post the award (done, this one only took an hour to figure out)

2. Thank and mention the person(s) who gave you this award ( Thank you Ivy from
Ivy's PPD Blog...thanks so much! and from Kimberly at
All Work & No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something ...thank you!!)

3. Pass the award on to seven blogs that you find worthy of such an award
Jenny at Daily Life with our two CRAZY girls (my sis!) Joni at Enjoy Every
Minute..(my sis too), Megan at So Happy Together, Holly at Little Bit of Life,
Laura at Never Be the Same, Katie at I Though I Loved You Then and Raechel at
Finding My Feet

4. List seven things others don't know about you. Ummm....this is hard.

1. The only reason I went to dental assisting school years ago was
cause there wasn't any math classes to take. I only had to count
to 32.

2. For a long time I didn't even want to have children.

3. I am a preacher's daughter.

4. I had the same pillow for like 10 years. Gross right?

5. I was a waitress at a Ponderose for a day. I am NOT cut out for that.

6. I predicted I would get PPD

7. I was married once before. HUGE mistake. HUGE.

Thanks again so much to Ivy and Kim for the award. I hope I did everything right!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

He smiles!

Easton has been trying to smile for a couple weeks now. He's got it down, but we haven't been able to catch it on camera. My sister, Jenny, has one of those super duper camera's with a shutter speed as fast as lightening, so she was the one to finally catch some smiles. What's funny is, about 5 minutes after these pictures, he was screaming his head off. He's done a lot of that this week. It's really hard to deal with sometimes. Sorry, this was supposed to be a happy post.'s some of his funny faces he was making...

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

8 weeks old

Well, we've made it 2 months. Whew. It's been a LONG 2 months. For Easton and us. As far as his eating/crying problems go, they are a little better. We went in for his 8 week checkup on Monday and the Dr. added Prevacid to the Zantac he is on. So we are doing both twice a day. He still is a sporadic eater and sleeper. He is just not beginning to take naps over a hour long. He still gets up a lot at night too. Our biggest challenge these days is getting to finish more than a 2 oz bottle. It just seems to me that he should be eating more and going longer in between by now! I know if his belly is hurting, he can't eat more than that at a time, but I am so ready for him to eat like a normal baby. He has a bad day on Monday. We had to endure about 5 complete screaming in agony fits. One of them was at the dr's office during the exam. So at least the Dr. got to witness what we are dealing with. Of course she was unfazed, while Jason and I sat there like two nervous wrecks. He weighs in at 9lbs 4 oz. He seems so much bigger now. He has started to smile at us every once in awhile now. It's adorable and I can't wait till he does it more.
As far as my postpartum struggle goes, I have been improving. I still have days where I can feel those sad feelings creeping up behind me, but I am able to get through them without crying and feeling hopeless. The new medication I am on must be kicking in. I can now sleep in between feedings at night now. I still have some trouble falling asleep, but at least I am able to. I still don't feel comfortable with staying home with him ALL day with nothing to do, so I try to plan something everyday. Which is hard when I never know when he's going to sleep or eat. Thankfully Jason's sister stays home with her children and lets us come hang out. She loves to keep him I already have an awesome babysitter! So all in all, things are getting better. Now if I cold just lose this baby weight, that would the icing on the cake!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Life at six weeks

I would post a picture of Easton at six weeks..but I don't have one. I know that sounds horrible. But taking pictures of him has been the last thing on my mind lately. He's hit a pretty rough stage. We are having some issues with feeding, mainly him not wanting to. He cries and fights his bottle which is SO frustrating. Our pediatrician has diagnosed him as "colicky" and given him Zantac. We have switched his formula to Alimentum which costs about a $100 a can..well..not really..but it seems like it. It will be a week tomorrow that we switched the formula, and he's been on Zantac since the 5th. So we are hoping for a magical response to both the medicine and the formula switch. He still wants to eat every 2 hours and will only eat 2 ounces. Needless to say, I am exhausted from doing that at night. Oh, and he seems to think the day starts at 4:30-5:00 am. Ugh. Oh, and he's started crying a lot at night. He loves to fight his sleep's got to get better. I know it does..tons of mom's have told me it does. I just keep trusting that and try to stay as patient as possible.
I have improved a little with the postpartum depression. It is a scary and stressful thing. I have never felt so miserable in my life. Seriously. It is hard to describe the feelings that I have been feeling. They are feelings that a mother should never have to feel. Try to imagine not wanting to take care of your own baby every day. Try to imagine feeling so scared of taking care of your baby that you have actual panic attacks. I fight feelings of hopelessness..extreme sadness. Insomnia is another symptom that has hit me also. So even when he is sleeping, I can't. I have seen a psychologist and am starting a new medication. I have hope that this will be the help I need to turn me back into Julie. Because for my son, husband, family..and me..I need to be Julie again.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The first 4 weeks...

Whew. Where to begin. I don't even really know where to begin. The c-section went as planned. The reason Easton was breech was that the cord was wrapped around his neck..twice. He couldn't turn if he wanted to. That was a bit scary. They had to do some work on him to get his little lungs working. He was 5lbs 15 oz and about 18 1/2 inches long. Tons of dark hair, and looks exactly like his daddy. Nothing like his mommy. Oh well..he's healthy! That's all that matters. The stay in the hospital was somewhat pleasant. Jason and I both didn't really want to leave. We were kicked out after 3 days. The first few days home were rough. I was extremely sore from the surgery and had a hard time getting up and down. I tried to do to much the first night and ended up having a mini-breakdown. That mini breakdown turned into a case of postpartum depression. I had been prepared that this might happen to me. I just wasn't prepared for what it felt like. It is the most awful feeling I've ever encountered. It's hard to put into words the darkness and despair that filled my entire being those first few weeks. I had no interest in taking care of Easton, which brought on a whole other set of feelings..guilt. I brought this baby into the world and he deserves a mother who has it together! I didn't have it together! I had heard all the stories about mothers who saw their babies for the first time and instantly fell in love. I didn't have this feeling. I actually saw him as a stranger who was in my house and wrecking my life. I know all of this sounds horrible. But it is so real to me that I have to write it down. I dreaded each day and had panic attacks at night. I would lay in bed with my heart pounding and wait for his next cry. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't see myself ever happy with this life. Luckily I have two wonderful sisters and a amazing mom. They convinced me to call my ob and get put on some medication. It was a hard call to make. I had to admit to the nurse that I didn't even care that my baby was laying there crying and needed to be fed. I felt like a monster.
I debated whether or not to post all of this..but it's what's been happening in my life and I couldn't post something that wasn't true. I can say that I feel a lot better in the past few days. I feel like I can get up and take care of my baby, who is precious beyond words. I still have moments where I get choked up and need a to cry just to get it out, but other than that, I am good. I know it only gets better. It's hard right now because he is eating every 2 hours, which means not a lot of sleep. He is a good baby though. He only cries when he's hungry or hasn't had a poop in a day or so. I can say that my husband and I are truly blessed. I am blessed not only by this baby, but with my family. My mom and sisters have held my hand every step of the way and I love them beyond words for that. They are truly my angels. We are taking it day by day and enjoying this beautiful little boy God has given us.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

February 3rd, 2010 !!!

It's official...his birthday will be next Wednesday, February 3rd! We went for my 38 week appointment this morning and he's still breech. SOOOOO...we got to schedule the c section for next week! Wednesday is the day! I'm relieved and nervous all at the same time. I started having some MAJOR back pain this week, so I am more ready than ever. Since I am such a planner, this is perfect for me! I hate the unknown. This way I can get my house clean (if I can move off this heating pad, my back is killing me!!), get everything in order..and go have a baby extracted from my stomach. So let's all pray that everything goes as planned and Easton is healthy!!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Surprise?? Not really....

Okay..I had my 37 week appointment this morning. Dr. did the normal check and got this puzzled look on her face. "I think I feel his bum.." Really? Cause last week you said you felt his head. She pulled in the ultrasound machine, and sure enough. He is still bottom first, kicking me in my girl parts. I knew it!! I have still been feeling so many painful movements (kicks) down in the lower regions. Last night I think he tried to stand up...seriously. It hurt that bad. I knew it couldn't be hands! I go back next week to do another ultrasound, and if he's still sitting there, we'll schedule a c-section for the following week. I wasn't real concerned until I googled "37 weeks w/ breech baby". I shouldn't have done that. Screw you internet!! Of course the first article I come to tells me that some of the reasons that a baby is breech is that there is some kind of birth defect..neurological or something else. WHAT?? Seriously???!! I've have a lot of ultrasounds during this pregnancy...and they have all said he looks perfect. So I shouldn't worry right?? RIGHT?? Ugh. This is going to be a long two weeks. Please pray that this baby is okay.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

36 weeks

So I was 36 weeks on Wednesday. It's getting so close but it still doesn't seem real! I mean, it seems real to my body. Which is huge, stretched, pimply, dimply and downright uncomfortable. But the fact that we could have a baby in this house by the end of the month...that's kinda not real yet. I have all the stuff ready..but I don't know if my brain is ready. One thing I do know, is that my husband is ready. Even if the reason he's ready is because he's taking a week off from work when baby comes. Jason has been SO busy at work these days that I see him for about 2 hours a day. This cold snap has had pipes busting all over Nashville, and it seems Jason has to fix ALL of them. He says that taking care of a newborn for his week off will really seem like a vacation. That's how busy he is. We both just keep saying "let's just thank God that you have a job!" Which is so true these days.
So I start going to the dr weekly now. She starts doing those fun "checks" know what I mean. Well, we had a concern that this little bundle was still breech..cause he was for awhile there. So when I went on Monday, she gloved up and did her check and announced "you are 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced and he is head down!" Wow! I knew she had really gone for the gusto when she stuck her hand up there, but that fact that she can tell where is head is already! WHew. Weird! I told Jason this after the appointment and he was amazed. Jason: "so if I stick MY hand up there, I could feel his HEAD???!!" Me: "" Let's stick to shoving your hand in people pipes at their houses, not my "pipes". Even in my I've never had a baby before opinion, I think we're off to a good start for 36 weeks! Only 8 more cm to go! Whoo-hoo?! I'll keep ya posted.