Sunday, December 26, 2010

Easton's first Christmas

The past two posts were so depressing, I would've posted something jolly before now, but we've been busy. I just had a really bad few weeks there before Christmas. Of course I started feeling better once I was surrounded by my family..I knew I would. I'm not sure if it was the cold, dreary weather that had me down, but I'm glad I'm out of that little "slump". Whew. It's like I know it isn't going to last, due to my past experience's, but I can never convince myself of it during said "slump. Easton and I are staying in Indiana with my parents, sister and my niece's for a few days, so this should be fun! Jason had to go back to work tomorrow, so he left this afternoon.
Easton's first Christmas has been so fun! It snowed here in Indiana, so it was also white! He opened some really cool presents, then crawled over and started playing with the old toys mom had out. I got some cute pics though...Hope everyone had a holly jolly Christmas!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Just go away

What is with this sadness that is filling me up like a cup about to overflow? I was feeling so good for awhile. }sigh{ I just can't seem to shake it. It's also crazy that I've done two blog posts in less than 24 hours. I've already cried today, and that hasn't happened in awhile either. I laid Easton down for his nap and just lost it. I should be looking forward to Christmas, but I'm not. This post is going to be a silly rambling piece of work, but I just need to get some stuff off my chest. There's no one really to call right now and cry I decided to write. I wish I could say it's PMS, but I don't think it is. My days seem so long and endless with nothing really to do. It's horrible to feel this way right now because Easton is so cute and funny and I need to be enjoying the last of his baby-ness, but I'm struggling to find that joy. (run on sentence, I know) I just want it to go away.

Monday, December 20, 2010


Why is putting into words what I am feeling sometimes so stinkin' hard??? I've had a post in mind and haven't for the life of me, been able to type it out. I will start, then I read it back and it sounds like a 2nd grader wrote it (no offense to 2nd graders) or it just doesn't express what's going on in my head. Maybe that's a hint as to what's going on in my head is WAAAY to scary to be on a blog. (haha?) Anyway..I've had some really blue days in the past couple weeks. I know I posted about being boring and feeling better and yada yada yada..but there's been something lurking that is driving me batty. I feel okay some days, then the rest of the week I'm It's not helping to tell myself that I have no reason to be sad. I try that, often. It's kinda scary because of my dealing with PPD/PPA in the not so distant past. The feelings are very familiar to me, and they bring a lot of extra weight with them. I tend to get on here and go to my faithful blogs that I read, and see that everyone has bad days. It's OK. Today I went to one blog that I check often, but it's not on my blog list. I don't even really know how I found it. But this blog has moved me. I've been reading it for a couple months now and I feel like I NEED to know what's going on with this lovely family. Just google
"eb ing mommy" The actual address is Courtney has a sweet little toddler named Tripp, who has a disease called Junctional Epidermolysis Bullosa. Her blog is heartbreaking and inspiring all at the same time. I don't have the knowledge to explain this disease to you, just go visit her site. She never fails to post about not only the sadness and stress of her son's horrible disease, but she always makes sure to let you know that he is a blessing to her and her family. That her life wouldn't be the same with out him, and that she trusts that God knows what he's doing by giving her this beautiful baby who suffers from EB. All I know is that her blog makes me count my blessings. I am in no way saying that all I need to do is count my blessings and my depression will go away. But I am in a different place now. When I read Courtney's posts now, they do make me feel better. Five months ago..they would've done no good. Whatever..I'm no good at explaining myself in typed words. Just go visit Courtney's blog, then count your blessings. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas, eats a whole lotta crap and falls off the diet wagon with me.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I am so boring.

I have been at a loss for what to blog about lately, and have considered just not blogging anymore, because, to tell you the truth, we are just not that interesting. I started blogging when I was pregnant, then it kinda turned into a blog about me and my PPD/PPA struggles/Easton's feeding and sleeping issues. Well, I feel lots better, and my son is a champion sleeper now. (Did I just jinx myself? Probably.) Soooooo...that's why I don't really know what to blog about. I admire the women who's blogs I read religiously, for being able to come up with stuff to write about almost daily. Again, I am just not that interesting. Being a sahm can get quite boring. I know no one wants to hear about how many times my son poops a day, or the fact that he refuses to feed himself and that his favorite thing to do is sit on the dryer while I get laundry out. Hold on to your seat folks! This is exciting stuff! Well, there is one thing I have accomplished that I haven't blogged about and that is my weight loss. I gained an enormous amount of weight when I was pregnant and have so far lost 17 pounds! Yay for me! It's taken me awhile, but I told myself I wanted to be back in my old clothes by his first birthday. I just might be there too...maybe. I have also thought about doing some blogs about recipes I try. I am now addicted to food blogs..and I love to try all the recipes from them. I have made some pretty good one, and a few that went straight to the dog. I thought that might be interesting, plus I love to cook! I also have seen mom's do product reviews of stuff they use, I could do that too. I have spent money on some baby stuff that I would love to tell other mom's that it wasn't quite worth it, or it was wonderful. Well, that's it. I guess if something groundbreaking happens to me, you (?) will be the first to know!